I cant wait!

Tonight is the day.
After tonight is another day.
For you and for me (:

Finally congrats to Dearest Bing. YOU HAVE COMMISSIONED! Dont know whether its a good thing or a bad thing cause there's more responsibilities coming up for you. Jia you!

Whereas for me, Im flying off to find the rest of the pangsai birds in few hours time! ((: So exciting to take plane alone ( at least this is my VERY FIRST time taking alone ). I have yet to borrow/buy a book to go on plane to read. SIAN. And I have yet to settle so many xmas presents. And worst still, I have yet to change my $$ to hk dollars. Im so dead pleasee.

Monsters exchange was equally exciting as any other year. With them ard, how can the atmosphere be not fun and noisy and filled with joys and laughters, though it was like back to my second home at BNJ DEMPSEY. :/

Im finally done with another handicrafts of all of us and the helper is totally not being very useful. TSK, nvm I cant wait for 26th to see their smelly faces again.

MEANWHILE, I CANT WAIT FOR 6AM OF SUNDAY TO COME! (((((((((:

the world is going too fast
i need to slow down,
i need to calm down
this i have been telling myself for the hundredth or perhaps a thousandth times from the 25mins walk home.

i hope 2009 ends at this minute
i hope 2010 starts at the nxt minute.

too many unfortunate things happened at the same time
too much pressure suddenly on my shoulder

It was only one night and the number of series of unfortunate events piled like crazy.
I could take it no more.. then i realised I only have myself to cry myself to slp.

its the worst day ever.

what a day
what a screwed up day
with a screwed up trip
and best thing is, my phone's spoilt.

damn sad, feel like just doing everything on impulse. and so its true that one can never have the best of both worlds.

damnnnnnnnnnn!

plain strawberries will do (:

it was such a last min decision to go club.
with a BIGG shopping bag (quilt to be exact) in my hand,
and causal attire and there we went into the club cause its LADIES NIGHT!

Though its merely 2 hours in Butter Factory, the companies are *thumbs up*,
well except abit too crowded, abit too hot, abit too many weird ppl ard. Hmmm, maybe the nxt time i wanna go will be this. (sounds so noob but yea, has beeen 21435 years since i clubbed ok)

I realised its a knid of qns that is thrown back to me every now and then, and somewhat it gets me all confused. That is when I'm information overload and i cant process everything so fast and neatly in my mind and that's what I started to have a feeling of doubt. But when im again all alone, I can think clearer, and everything falls back into its original place and thats when i realised there's actually nth much for me to worry about.

somebody asked me: at this point of time in your life ( I mean NOWWW), will you choose chocolate-coated strawberries r/s where you know there will always be a tinge of sweetness and abit of sourness when you bite into it, devouring the dessert while enjoying the change of taste in your mouth. Or, will you choose raisin bread which you know its not as delicious as strawberries, but once in a while when you bite into the raisins, the juiciness of the raisins filled your mouth, giving you the equal satisfaction strawberries give. SO, whats ur choice?

upon seeing this, I can NEVER success in dieting pleaseeee! ):



after looking at one after another strawberries photos, i came to realise they are so beautiful.
baby, i don't need a strawberrries field, nor all these sweet little treats.

maybe maybe maybe, all i wanna is thisss......
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ONE DAMN BIG STRAWBERRY TO LAST THROUGH MY LIFETIME :DDDDD

pictures say it all

our regular customer. to the extent that she knows most of the scoopies!

byebye to ivan. but still will seee your pangsai face eveyr now and then.

My pangsai birds. #1 and #2. totally irritating but still love you (:


The Beautilful View of Somerset At a Higher Height (: Accompany by great company. Where I almost get myself trapped in the shopping mall. =/




My lovely present for you. sometimes its good to have a little pampering to yourself though it burns a BIGGGGGGGGGGGG hole in your pocket.




Fiona's 21st!

when the bday girl isnt at home and we have to entertain ourselves somehow, then after which sweat ourselves out hiding behind the mj table. Fiona, u need to have more fans in your house! =/

The happpiest girl on 2oct (:

So should it be 'happy birthday Jappo' ? Hahaa, at least this is the kind of fun i miss after so many so manyyy.


Sorry fiona, I cant resist but ask to take a photo with your mum, cause she's simply TOO HOT. =/




///
///
times when life is at its peak, when only laughters can be heard and nonsense is made in the room, I can feel that this is the moment I wanna live for. But there's times when life is at its lowest, when tears are shed and literally cried the hearts out and having terrible heartaches, i know this is inevitable. we need to have ups and downs to compensate for the balance emotions in us. Who would want to have sadness in their life, but when mistakes are made and lessons are learnt(hopefully), I'm hoping for a miracle actually. Its hard to not worry about what's going to happen, because of the fear of making the same mistake again. yet the more we worry about what's going to happen, the more we will assume what's going to be result. Yet on the other side, you will still give yourself hopes because of 'always look at the brighter side of your life' . Then eventually when you are used to 'holding on to that hope' , and the result diff, this is the time when the reality slaps you in the face and ask u to wake up.
Then again, its hard not to think about it. Though pretendious can be very real, the real emotion inside is making you spin. Maybe this is it. Maybe its late and i need to stop blogging. Maybe I need to go slp to think about other stuffs.

cheap thrills :D

this is the kind of adventure i wanna be part of,
this is the kind of cheap thrills I wanna experience,
this is more than just a roller coaster ride.
Which kept my heartbeat pounds faster every min.

But im glad,
that im hop into this adventure with you!

to being almost trapped in shopping mall!

its a great tuesday

it was 3 in the morning
and i was out there sitting on the high chair outside bnj @ dempsey.
im fighting with the fatigue in me not wanting to sleep as i think about stuffs i shouldnt be.

cause it was supposed to be a good tuesday.
And it still is, and now im going to meet the psb (fyi, it means pangsai birds) again ((:

have been working hard and playing hard, and spending hard as well.
and i only have life after work, which is night time alrdy.

suddenly into the 'prawning' mood. I went prawning twice in a week. Yes its madness and its draining my $$$$ away. But who cares, what matters most is fun. First time was at Pasir Ris, and that was after happy meal at IKEA. Dont know why Pasir Ris prawning place is so not happening. There are hardly any people ard. I think we are quite pathetic. 2 rods but we only got 4, but the most saddening thing is that 2 come from other ppl. =(( more of a picnic trip rather than prawning session. I likeee ((: Another time will be few days ago. This time around at my house area! FINALLY somewhere so convenient for me. This place is much more happening, see people prawn out big small prawns and we have only small ones. =(( think they have better baits than I do. =x This time round, not so bad. with 4 rods we caught 15 prawns. AT LEAST, i caught SOMETHING! hahah. All of us alrdy like dying and lacking of slp, but i dont know why ( I dont know alot of things on that night cause im tooo tired to think ) we ended up at amk Mac drive thru eating. Having to wait for 45mins for breakfast. And playing 7-up so that the loser can go ask and ask the counter crew or manager 'is breakfast ready yet?' I swear the people there wanna kill us.=/

anyw, results are out and im disapppointed. Given the effort that I put in for each paper, Im hoping more than just this. Yet given the state when im doing the paper, i know i cant hold much hope. having to work so much now, i cant wait to start sch. I cant wait to reserve some time for myself. Bet you must be thinking why i wont do it now, cause it seems like im obliged to give shifts. As long as there's nice ppl around, i actually dont mind working. but then sometime it does pay a price for that. what i can say is that responsbility becoming a burden.

I cant wait for Chunk Fest, the only event im anticipating PEACE JOY LOVE AND ICE CREAM.

meanwhile, im still counting down... 2weeks plus abit more (: to be back in your arms <3

meanwhile happy photos.

After our facial treatments, is there a diff? lol


fireworks are always so pretty. it lighten up the darkest moment of your life. it makes you smile no matter how damp your mood is. (:

miss you pangsai.

hate it when you judge

Who the hell give you the bloody right to judge me for one trait.
Who the hell do you think you are to say such crude shit.

For this, i condemned you and dont expect me to show you ANY respect from today onwards. You maybe a OM, but hell you are just a FUCKING asshole who thinks only with your butt.

its a long way to go still.

so many things that have happened this one week. ( I think im quite lagggg in this entry)
It has been quite eventful i must say. From jiun's departure to having QT spent with Dearest, to having to see him off with a heavy heart.

2 Aug 09 - It was only Monsters + gracie invite to Jiun's house for steamboat and dramatic thing happened. We are all late for dinner and because the kitchen abit too small for all of us to help out, so some of them just sit out and sit while some chop cut wash in the kitchen. Wells, smart serene offered to help in cutting mushroom and somebody said that the knife is blunt, so i attempted it with a small knife. Apparently, the knife is sharper than i thought and just the first cut, i cut myself -.- Blood flow like nobody business so i let it run under the tap, the sharp pain is alrdy unbearable actually. So i was told to hold it up high to stop the blood from falling and hold it tight. I started to feel dizzy after a while so i went to sit down. The stupid-est thing happened when the nxt moment i know was im alrdy on the floor. Yes, i fainted. I dont know what happened, but it feel like a sleep. hahah, I guess it scared some of them, or all of them? hahah, to me, i haven't faint for a long time so this isn't the first time that frighten ppl. HAHA.

3 Aug 09 - jiun's departure. This time round, there's no tears no sadness in everyone's eyes. It is so much better than last time, as this time round jiun knows be it in Singapore or Melb, she will be loved and care for by so many ppl. I know she will do fine, and i believe she will.

4 Aug 09 - Bing's Social night. Worked in the morning then after which chiong home to prepare for the night. The dinner is kinda boring except for the dancing part and the part which one of the guys know beeping ( is that how it is spelt? ) Omgg, that guy is JUST TALENTED! whoever the gf is, must be damn fortunate. Saw nicole and we talked quite a bit. Someone whom I dont even talk to in sec school. Basically, we did what girls do best. COMMENTING ABOUT PEOPLE. about their dressing figures and faces... hahah. Make new friends along the way, which is something good I guess.

5 Aug-7 aug - Sentosa Chalet with Bing. This is the second time that we spent time tog in Sentosa Chalet. Bing has been the greatest company, as always. Wanted to go to Sentosa early to tan but weather was bad and so we went to watch movie (fighting) then check in. The room is not as nice as i thought it will be, quite smalllllllll actually. oh wells, im more excited about bbq-ing at night. 2 persons bbq-ing! ((:
The man set up the fire while the lady prepared the food like all the wrapping and putting of sambal chilli in almost all the food! hahaha. I thought the food wouldn't be enough but it turns out to be more than enough as we didnt finish the food ultimately.

the moment we have to say goodbye,
the moment when the ship started to sail off,
the moment when the clock strike 6pm,
I still refused to look at you.
Though its only 6weeks,
it feels longer than that.

occupying myself with many workloads just make myself more tired,
hoping that it will feel better.
apparently its not doing very well
and i think i need to do sth about it.

meanwhile i think i need to sleep soon, tml another full day. I just cant wait for friday! Another outing with nice ppl ((:

time is ticking by.. slowly

i guess im the most workaholic person in the team, fancy handling 2 jobs. I must be mad, but in along the way I met interesting ppl, i learnt to be much more independent and of cause fun comes into the picture. If there's no fun, i won't even do it in the first place.

Anyw, friday was a day of 'coinicidence'. I met sheena's mum at bk, cause thanks to sheena, she told her that im working. well, at least that makes my lousy friday brighten up a little. Then night time going back to bnj and work was totally FUN! cause cause cause, we saw JJ Lin and took a photo with him despite he has left and came back aft that. ( PS: im not a fan of his) but, THANKS to Ivan one of the scoopy who told one of their men that we girls are DYING to take a photo with him.

BUT BUT BUT, there's this handsome one there and I requested to take photo with him only =SS HAHAH, quite funny cause i kept saying till my friend bth and helped me ask. =DDD hahaha but dont know why the photo turns out to be just 'orh ok lor'..

Oh wells, nvm i still find him quite handsome =) at least he's in the photoshoot with JJ Lin. Later in the night, sheena and erica came (: and i kopped abit of their drinks. Then then, I saw GAYNA! My bball senior whom used to be the prettiest in the team, and she still is now! Now being a SIA girl (: so goood, turn out she knows MEIQI! small world small world. that's not all, saw weizheng and his gf. Think they are celebrating his bday here. I TRIED to request for a bday song to be sang to him. AND BLOODY HELL, I sent it twice but the stupid band ignored it twice till Wei Zheng left alrdy they still ignored! TSKK, though im not even close to him at least I thought i could do something as a staff working there knowing that past midnight is his bday.

On a happier note, NDP IS GREAT! actually not bad laa. the various 'chapters' are interesting but only selected ones are nice to watch! Fireworks are always the prettiest and worthwaiting to watch. Hosts have been very entertaining, though its only a preview they have made the 3 hours of show eventful. I didnt expect myself and Bing to be quiteeee enthu about being a REAL Singaporeans and shout and wave the stupid heart-shaped hand-held light, and also to wave the little flag when the 'fake' president passed by. The retro part is the one which i think is the highlite of the show, with all the singings and dancing by various celebrities. The hot ones, the sexy ones, the funny ones, the 'cannot-sing' ones. hahah, Alot of photos taken and I realised all in Ray's camera and stupid boy dont wanna upload...

10 more days, before Bing sets off for 6 weeks. It's going to be the longest time that we have part since 2 years ago. Before that day arrives, we shall and will spend QT tog as much as we can alrights?

(:

many many many things happened recently.
good and bad ones.

let's forget about it and move on with life.
met up with Jiun for lunch for some spizza treats ((: most importantly its the company that makes the day.
met up with Selene, initially for tanning but just so UNLUCKY of all days, it rained on that day LATE MORNING. TSK, so change to salads buffet! as healthy as it may sounds, I ate till super full without feeling too guilty, except that I have ice cream aft that. Which totally defeat the purpose of eating healthy. Anyw, also not trying to diet just wanna cut down on unhealthy food. But dont know why am i still in the f&b line...

Anyw new job new workplace new kind of fun. Haven't get used to it yet.. Suddenly seeing people of all ages. You name it, you got it. Frankly speaking, handling 2 jobs is REALLY tiring. Cant imagine how i am going to tahan for nxt week schedule.
we shall see.

meanwhile, im sorry dearest if i haven't had time for you. nevertheless thanks for the understanding and the care and concerns. like a best friend, like a lover, you have been the greatest.. ever (:

I neeeeed more jobs!

an add on to the prev post, maybe theres more to just sexually driven intention.

Being anorexic has to have more reasons to why girls will do that. Stress is one of such. Usually the nature of this will come from family and social lives. Families whom asked for perfection in every aspect they do, which mould the next generation to become a perfectionist too. Its good and bad to be a perfectionist. But asking for a perfect life is hard cause in the real world, nothing is perfect and very often we have to accept for what it is.
Sometimes it hurts like mad when you are stabbed by many needles to the extent that the feeling of pain just went numb.
-bear with it, swallow it, and keep walking. Nv slow down to even take a peep at your shadow and keep moving.

Nowadays, work is getting more shitty. cause that DAMN SMART OM is getting on my nerves that I even prepared what im going to say to him IF he ever provoke me. HAHA, really really @#!@$%^&%* manager. Tml going to see him again. I hope I DONT NEED to see him AT ALL. TSKKK..... I NEED MORE JOBS! =( bnj not earningg. Think i just wanna work as much as possible.

Life has been relatively good. Singing at jam bar on Saturday was fun, totally destress and totally tire me out. I like this kind of companies, I like this kind of simple fun. I love them more than words can describe. And I believe we are going to be, as cheesy as it sounds, BFF. Hahaha..

Jiun's back! ((: *WAVES*

Going back to the routine of trainings and working and trainings and working. Working has become much more fun cause always talking bad about the new OM. He's an ass, super shit manager. Perhaps the worst OM I have ever see. A while ago, someone asked me this qns, ' If murder were to make legal, who will i kill ? ' Now I have the ans. He will be the first on my list. Seriously, with him ard, our lives can never be happy. With him ard, I cant focus on my work(though there's nth much to focus on. HAHA ) But its the people that I stayed on. At least the 'older' scoopies are coming back and i thank god for that! ((: HEH

Question to ponder: Do you believe that whatever thing we do are sexually-driven? Shit I think I might not phrase the question properly, in another words, human actions are accompanied with an intention of attracting or repelling the other party of the same or opposite sex. It's like why girls will go on SUPER diet? Is it for the beauty of your own so that this will appeal to the opposite sex? And why some girls are so particular to their outlook, that girls are constantly buying clothes. HARDLY you see this trend in guys right? Not that they don't care about their outlook, but i think as long as they are comfortable in their dressing and look decent, everything doesn't really matter. Well again, this is subjective cause some guys mind alot about their outlook.
Some of the words might sound unpleasant to the receiver yet not to the speaker. And why do people flirt and why girls whine? Well you can say its girls nature and i believe many girls out there will protest to this, saying that they dont whine. To how you determine whining it's also up to the other party to decide. And whining can be also seem to be a sexually-driven action. There's too many things on earth that human actions can be esaily misunderstood and bring the wrong msg to ppl. So either you know the person well and see that he/she is that kind of person, if not one might think that he/she is always giving out the wrong signals.

Enough of crap, life's short! Live to the fullest. (:

tired

sing songs camwhore madlyvideoing madlydancing.
it must have been quite a while since I have such fun. (:

beginning to believe

as cheesy as it might sounds,
' you are the one who can hold the sky for me when it falls.'

So cheesy, so gloss but when its proven that he did it. It's not that cheesy anymore.

You have been there at the lowest point of mine.
You have been the greatest support when nobody could.
You make an effort to make your presence known even though you are back in camp and im here alone.
You make me believe that when the sky does fall, I'm not the only one shouldering these alone; because I have you.

You might not be the most romantic guy, or at least abit more romantic than I thought
You might not be one who paint a studio of artpieces
You might not be someone who plays piano or at least know music instruments
You might not be a super animal lover ( please overcome dog fear if can. BIG dog, i mean )
You might not be someone who splurge and buy stuffs for

At least,
you are someone I know I can rely on,entrust my heart to, believe in, gain support from, especially now. A big thank you ((:


*ilu

sentosa(:

it's heart wrenching that this is happening
it's painful to be so helpless
it's hurting to know that this is actually happening
the feeling of helplessness just feel like SHIT
totally feel like shit
perhaps I will pray every night for the better of us.
may god bless me.

On a side note, today sentosa trip was not bad. Had my first experience on a hammock! Quite cool! Sun is a killer today! And for the second time yet the first time to run under the HOT KILLER SUN (around 12-1pm) to run in Sentosa. I thought only me and my friend are the only kuku who ran in sentosa then I realised actually quite alot of ppl ran in Sentosa, at that freaking weird hours. Running under the hot sun is damn shiok, but slopes are almost everywhere in Sentosa. OMG, i just feel that my thighs got bigger by one inch =(( But after running is goood, for that half hour plus I can just put aside all the random stuffs. Nothing but think of how to endure through all the slopes and endure through under the hot sun. Totally madness!
Crap talk laugh joke drink beer eat sleep tanned volleyball camwhore are what we did for the whole afternoon. At least this is a grp of friends I know will make my SIM life less boring. After exams might seem to be a good thing, but come to think of it now, being jobless or not having a properly well-paid job is saddening. I need to have a change of job but what part time job can I take up or perhaps a temp full time job?

3 days ago, I have stomach flu or food poisioning. It was so bad that I have to rest for 1 hour during work because I have to hold on to my stomach even while walking to compress the pain. And stupid manager on that shift is a !@#@$%^ . Dont like dont like! I still like Uncle Sam and Uncle Donald =(( Too many rules and regulations. Where is the fun loving working environment I used to enjoy? It's changing so fast that I cant catch up with the pace, that I feel restricted and bounded by their house rules. It has always been the people that I stayed on and even till now, it is still the people that I stayed on. It has never been other factors and now that all the happening people are leaving one by one, I lost the purpose to look forward to every working slot. Yet I know I have to work because I still love the place, I still love the working there. Despite the inaccessiablility, it has become a routine that I have to climb the bloody hill(esp when im late), I have to take 2 transports, I still wanna work at bnj. For the people I still wanna work with, I'm staying.

Got addicted to another habit is online reading. from website where people write their stories and post there. This holidays I will try to do as much things as possible. Maybe I will take up tuition. Primary sch this time. lol. Running is a must to do for everyday morning or night. Not to train for Sundown which is next sat, but to achieve my ideal weight ( actually by the end of this month). At least last time still have studies to preoccupy my mind and stop thinking about food. Now got... nothing. And temptation is everywhere. Fast food is one thing I will stop eating. Today shall be the last day. hahah, shit.

we are all selfish creatures
but please,
dont reveal too much of that side of you.
because it is too much to handle.

declared freedom!

Finally I announced the END OF EXAMS
So happy because there's many things I can do:
- to recuperate ( have been lacking of sleep for the past few days ) imagine to sleep only 3-6 hours for 3-4 consequence days. Perhaps my worst day was to study overnight at 24-hours Mac. Having to be disturbed by irritating flies in the early morning. Bet the staffs at Macs think how can a one girl study overnight till 7am in the morning. Not only that, constant waking up at 4am was totally draining. Hate coffee (not to say those frappucino at Starbucks; it's diff), but it's a must to have during these periods. I swear I have never studied this hard b4 in my life.

But having said that, I think out of 4 papers I screwed 3. Totally demoralising =(( Everyday complained to Bing and only the last day then he gave the most encouraging words-.- Sigh, come to think of studies I feel like shit. Actually this exam is rather ok in general but I know I have screwed up some. I just feel dui dui dui and more dui. Till then, I'm hoping to have a pass for all the subjects. Though the passing marks are 34, it's just DAMN freaking hard to get even 20 marks. =((( May god bless serene please.

The few days of hardcore studying was actually quite interesting too. Make a few nice and fun friends. At least make my sim life not that boring, for now. Having to think that they are actually my POA classmates and didnt really talk so much until we started to study tog then so many shits come out from them. Used to see alexis and fiona almost everyday for studies, then till nearing the exams, see the few of them everyday-.- at least, they helped me with all the studies, despite all the nonsenses.

Throwing studies aside, let's talk about sth nice.
8May: Ray's graduation dinner. A quite happening and interesting dinner. When guys come tog, they are nothing but just full of shit and nonsense. The cam-whoring( not for the girls, for once!), the various stupid performance they have. Dinner was held at Marina Mandarin, and turned out that everyone dressed till quite casually. Anyw, their presentation for the 1st course is damn cute! The waiters actually danced on the stage! DAMN FUNNY! Come to think of those days that I worked in Meritus Mandarin, there was no such shit. Thank god im no longer working there. LOL. Many many interesting programmes lasted through the night, till when 1130 have passed then I realised oh it's that late! oh Morgan and Amelia got the Ms and Mr Glamourous for the night! Congrats! :D
The lucky draw part is interesting because some people get the most randomest things home. Like the brush that used to wash toilet bowl, color pencils, 2 packets of maggie mee and plastic bag. HAHA, and ray got color pencils =X but good thing is that because of this, he got the ultimate prize :DD Indeed a lucky ass! And the dressing up of the guys. So hilarous! Then the drinking competition, till one of them vomit. I pity the Marina Mandarin staffs :/ The night don't end just here. They wanted to go club. Though i was abit reluctant cause IM STILL HAVING MY EXAMS. Even Amelia went so I shall not be wet blanket. Only when I reached Rebel, then I realised I got no IC NO identification AT ALL. Started to panic, trying to borrow pple's driving license. But luckily, there was this guy in front of me got some problems with the bouncers and with the help of the guys, I got in! Haha, it's kinda weird cause all are couples. and cant imagine I paid 25bucks for just 1 hour of club. cuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..



Poor guy who vomit. but more sympathy to the marina mandarin staffs.



boys turning to become men


See that horse thingy, I asked Bing to take out and tried to eat. But apparently it was stuck to the base. It's a jelly thingy, and kinda gross.


stupid boy getting high, after the drinking session. tsktsktskkk.



Haven't been working for 2 months and finally im back to working on friday. The feeeling is quite different because so many people are leaving. Even Uncle Donald is leaving sooon =((( First is Uncle Sam, now is Uncle Donald. The 2 dearest managers I respected most and love most are leaving. Sigh..though exams are over and im expecting to work as much as possible. Apparently all the other unis have ended theirs too and I got no much work slot. So to work enough to go overseas nxt year?!?! =((

Went clubbing on fri. Crowds suck TOTALLY! just 1@#$%^&% throughout the night. Saw many familiar faces, yea the whole world goes phuture. It's time to explore other clubs. Maybe in june when I got my pay. Now the economic situation is so bad, getting a job is hard.

On the randomest things:
Firstly,what kind of person are you? Based on the personality test, then from there analyse it. From this point you manger your anger and to deal with people.

Secondly, a qns for all to think about it. Do what extent is FULL honesty is necessary in a r/s? Yes honest is good but in some point during the r/s, white lies do occur and that defeats the aims of having full honesty. Yet white lies are said so as to not make the other party angry or sad. But again, why do it in the first place when you know it's not right?

Thirdly, to what extent do you believe in horoscope? Usually those website that describe oneself, can be just a brief description yet did not go into details of how much it can describe one inner self. Or maybe the observations of others of your own horoscope can help to understand your horoscope well? But then again, this is subjective. It's not that I'm a horoscope believer ( would like to know more but won't exactly believe in it ). How is Pisces supposed to be? I know of some common traits when comparing friends of the same horoscope. and it surprised me somehow of some things I happened to know. for what I know of, pisces can be appreciative to some extent. and because of that, I started to doubt that point. Once used to be such person, perhaps in between many things happened without us knowing. But all in all, this shouldn't be happening. I'm starting to doubt the sincereness, or should I say escapist is the word for you.

Fourth, friends come and go; go and come. Whom I thought are nice, eventually have a bad point about them. When the incidents happened have to be so similar, and that really pissed me off. I valued long years of relationship more than anything, of cause those that worth to be valued. Selene, Jy, Ahmad, and Bing are someone I know we will stay together for life. People I kept doubly close to my heart. Though not as close and sticky like glue, they are still the one who understand one another best. Same goes for Monsters. Been through ups and downs, whatever that have happened had happened or still happening, it doesn't matter. We are still here for one another. Maybe in a few more years time, if monsters still be playing under Monsters, I think people might think that we are a grp of old shits acting young. HAHA because of the name. Well, the younger gen won't know about the process we might have been through. Hahaha, I think i have think rather far for now.

Fifth: is to not judge someone by his/her past. Maybe not to the extent of judge, it's too heavily used on. This is something I'm trying to not do, but it's hard. It's hard to accept someone whom I don't know his past and background. I believe strongly in trust and because of that, trust is much easier to build when background is known and therefore foundation is much easier to build. Trust is hard to build, not just some words 'i love you' 'you love me' will be enough to make the relationship last. How long do you think u can 'wait' for this person who might or might not be your one. It's silly to wait for someone who is attached especially. And it's more sillier to say that he/she will sees the effort that u have been putting in for him/her so he/she will goes to you. Craps, and there's true stories whereby this guy wait for this girl, till she got married. and hence waste his youth time where he could have gone to search for better girls.

and to Alexis and Fiona: ENDURE ABIT MORE FOR UR LAST PAPER! Then after that we can go havoc in any shape size direction way! hahaha, jia you!

fly high

went for second round of indoor tanning. SHIOK!
Cause supposed to go swimming and tan but no sun! TSK, and also no more buying of foot massager, so got $$ to buy phone. SIGH, after all my bday present is my nxt phone.

Ok, I think i'm getting HTC cruise. Wanted E75 so badly even before it launched! but now that it has launched, kinda disappointed by the functions. Like not very impressive =( Oh well, life sucks. never being perfect.

omg, counting down to exactly one week to my FIRST paper! so so excited! nervous cause I feel I haven't studied enough. (anyw where on earth would anyone say that they have studied enough?!?!)

Lastly, I cant wait for after exams, so many things need to do. First thing to do, FULL BODY CHECK UP! damn scared I kana cancer! omgg *choy* sounds abit auntie but aiya, for safety purposes, don careeee.

Another goal to be achieved before I die: TO GO FOR SKY DIVING!!!

lacking of brain cells

I swear my brain cells are malfunctioning nowadays. They are not as efficient as they used to be. Everyday wake up when the clock strikes 7 in the morning, and having to sleep only after 12-1am or beyond, how to have sufficient rest?

Sometimes I am quite amazed by how human bodies work. Maybe Im not a science person so the mechanisms and the functions of a human body seems alien to me. I mean to knowing why this and that would happen to different gender. Like the very basic, why woman has to have periods and why do men have to have wet dreams and why blood types play an important part in designing an effective dieting plan etc. The whole list goes on and on and on. After exams, I'm going to do some research on all these online when I have the time.

Someone popped this question to me few days ago. 'is it possible for a girl and a guy be really close friends in long terms?' Those really close friends to share joys and woe with, and with no sexual thoughts at all. I think about it for a long time cause I realised I used to have 2 of such friends but end up, one became someone I fall for unknowingly and another one is my boyfriend, Bing. Some of whom I have asked for opinions agreed that it's possible to do so. This kind of friendship is hard to come by and I hope I have one of such too =/ Haha, well very much it depends on how the other party treats you as or look upon to you as. 'A-sexual'. I got a strong feeling that this is the wrong spelling =X Termed by selene and this is what I learnt and hopefully I said it correctly, that they might not look upon you as the opposite sex but on a neutral ground where they see you as a 'gender-less friend'. Like those buddy-buddy kind of friends counted? Having to fall for Bing is also unknowingly, my heart just tells me to go for it and yes I did. Come to think of it now, the thought of being together with him has never crossed my mind when we were in Secondary school. Maybe it happened when I was at my lowest during and after the O's and only Selene and Bing see me through those times.

How important is money to you? Yes, money is the root of all evils yet we need IT badly to survive. We make financial plans for the futures but how often do these plans work? Before a marriage, every couple will try to have a financial plan for their future but how often does it work especially the economics now is crazily changing. And also how many more young couples are there to support themselves without having to depend on parents? How many more families I have see to have splitted due to financial problems? That's why careers mean so important to me. A stable career with a stable income is so important. Of cause that have to be a long term. Yet now we don't even know whether we can secure any job given the current situation.

Perhaps I need to consider the current situation and stop being stubborn thinking that what will become of our lives by the age of 45. Given that economic is not doing well and it's still too early to say and that he does has a stable income now, have already promised a relatively good future. We are all humans and sometimes we could be blinded by love or money. I don't deny money is the main factor. However I did thought of what if somewhere during the process something bad happened(CHOY!), I will still hold onto whatever I have and make the best out of it. At least, that's the only thing I can do right.


We live only once; so try to make the best out of it. It's hard to be an angel and devil at the same time. It's hard to weigh the pros and cons equally on the scale. Cause ultimately one side of the scale will indicates that it is heavier. YET, sometimes being a neutral party will shows the ugly side of you, especially if failed to handle the situation well and people will mistaken as two-faced. Sigh, humans are troublesome. Yea I am troublesome too. Maybe some of the white hairs on Bing's head is because of a troublesome gf( I bet he agrees to this too! )

'Smile all problems away', that's what I used to do when I feel sad. Faking a smile does help in lifting up your mood by a little. Rather than frowning and create more wrinkles for your face, why not smile and tell yourself that you live for yourself, and other more people who love and care for you. There might have one thing to end your sad/groomy/grumpy day, is to think of the one happy thing that happened on that particular day. Laugh about it before you went to sleep. At least this will end your day happily. Don't tell me there's not even one happy thing happen on that day. If really so, then I've nothing much to say.

Laughing is contagious and smiles make one's day happier.

Cause my mum just told me that many people will die in the year 2012 because of the ozone layer issue, which she didn't specified. So if you think that you are going to die early, please do something productive to the world now. Because I do believe KARMA STRIKES!

Aims for this coming year:
- to be able to go JB for speeding
- to have a mini getaway with Selene (:
- to have another getaway with Monsters
- to save to this $XX amt by sept
- to be able to learn driving by then (time and $$$ constraint, sigh)
- hong kong possible?
- to strike a 4D! HAHA
- to watch a R21 show. HAHA doesnt need to be those nudity. but seems like most of them are, not like I watched R21 HORROR movies. =X
- to go into a casino with the legal age of 21!
- to have sufficient money to go for luxury SPA!
- to be able to reach my ideal weight!!!
- lastly, to pass my upcoming exams! *I pray I hope I wish*

Aim for the rest of my life:
- TO GO EGYPT AND SEE THE 3 DAMN PYRAMIDS.

random life

a 'hey'
a 'hello'

to open up a conversation box,
and here we are talking once again.
I'm glad,
I'm thankful
I'm happy

fighting for your own happiness is what others used to say
what if, it's fighting TOO hard for your happiness
wouldn't it be contradicting to the first sentence,
cause how we determine the degree of 'too hard'

anyway, on a random note
human is selfish, by individually
you are selfish; i am selfish too
actually whatever things, every words that we do or said, are usually for the interest of self
usually done on a unintentionally way and actually it is a harmless selfishness.
and that's why compromises and forgiving come into the picture.
And because humans are granted with such humanity feel and sympathy.

also, on a super super random note,
I told myself that from the moment this blog is set up,
I must type in proper English.
no more of using words to form unreadable sentences.
I will try to improve on that though i cant guarantee.
I swear English is still a DIFFICULT subject for me to handle, Math can second to that.

SLEEPING TIME!

oh oh oh, before I end this entry i got sth to say!
I JUST WENT FOR INDOOR TANNING! AND IT'S SUPER SUPER COOOL
kinda confined in the cylinder-looking machine and stand there for 11mins and im equally to as tanned as if i were to be out under the sun for 3 hours. I'm actually quite scared when I'm inside the machine, because of the fear for enclosed space. But I told myself time will pass very fast, and because I need to get myself tanned, and so think think think, 11mins passed! After this experience, I don't mind a second time! (((: HEHE

Ok, SLEEPNG TIME!

competition has just come to an end.
we got 2nd, though no more of the bigbig trophy,
a silver medal ain't that bad given the effort put in.

studying is always tiring and forever tiring.
think of sch work while eating, think of sch work while bathing, think of sch work while sleeping, think of sch work while playing mj on ITouch..
tired tired tired..

i cant think further, that's an indication that I should go sleep. goodbye to books for noww. thanks god.

ups and downs

Whenever I did my morning runs or evening runs in the park, I would see children playing at the playground. Their lives are so carefree and worries-free. They have nothing much to worry about even when the world falls on them, they have parents to shelter them and support them. Even when they fell down from the swings, immediately parents will come running to them with tissues and water.

Kids are so naive yet adorable. It doesn't matter how naughty how mischievous how irritating annoying they can be, they are still kids. Every kid has his/her piece of fun before he/she grows up and starts to rmb what he/she did in the past. These are memories, and I do think of them, trying to revive the feeling back then. Totally childish, totally wth, totally silly, sometimes totally wtf?



Hahah, seeing this I dont deny I used to do that =/ but not when I was that young but at the age of 16? Still those were the days. I think running helps to sort out some of the random thoughts. And I didnt realised AMK can be so huge that every running is a new discovery ((:
Cant wait for tml or friday, cause he's booooking out! LIKE FINALLY!!

no rules, no rights ----

2 bday parties during the weekend. But I DONT HAVE ALEXIS'S BDAY PARTY ONEEE!!
Anyway random msgs/calls/photos + ice cream make me happy. - when the going gets tough, the tough gets going!

when hopes are dashed,
I hold on to the hope that still exist around me.

I cant help but think...

I cant help but think of the worstcasescenario.
I cant help but think of the ugly side of you.
I cant help but think of what's going to happen in 2 more days time.
I cant help but think of what will I become of in 3 weeks time.
I cant help but think of how will I do for exams that coming in 1 month time.
I cant help but think of what will become of us in the future.
I cant help but think of who we are when we were that young.
I cant help but think of the happy moments we used to have, like nobody business.
I cant help but think of that expression on each of our faces when that goal was scored.
.
.
.
I cant help but think of you every night before I sleep.
I cant help but think of simple love as it comforts my heart before I sleep.
I cant help but think of the life we MIGHT be leading in the near future.
I cant help but think of the bad side of life.
I cant help but think of you, hoping that you are right here with me now.
.
.
.
I cant help but think, oh no this is how badly I need you right now......

(((((((:

I realised, even for the figuring, I HAVE TO LOOK SO ROUND! TSKKKK

dance till you drop

20 mar 09 - First time we went to club tog, Selene Jy Bing Me! As this group of friends I swear we will stay till forever(: Phuture is the last place that Selene wanna go, but because majority said to go there and there we were on the 20th and dancing our asses off!!!!!!! Haven't had such fun with absolutely nothing to worry about, not to say time is passsing way TOOO FAST. But I would say, this much of fun is enough, cause my body can't take it.

Dinner at some bat ku teh near Double O, cause we are supposed to go drinking at O bar! But we past the happpy hour, so no more cheap drinks ):
Drinking at wine bar, and eating as much tibits as we could and crapping and drinking weird tasting alcohols. Companies, especially with jy ard, will never be boring cause he is definitely full of craps.

Oh oh, 20th is a nice day! Cause it's a small world for everyone! During dinner, we saw this secondary sch friend who is also friend of Selene's colleagues. Then then, when we went to Phuture, selene met up with her 3 friends whom then I realised Nicholas( the ex canoiest) is also one of her friends. Then we also saw another secondary sch friends whom my friend's friend was holding his bday party at. This is not all, one of them turns out to be Bing's friend too!! Hmm, I would say, THE WHOLE WORLD GOES TO PHUTURE! Yeah, and so we all danced together! ((:

Ohoh oh, there's quite a handful of not bad looking people for that night =XX HAHA. and watching people puking ALL over, and point point at people on their dressings and admiring how some pros danced! And jy TRIED to show some of his talents off! hahaha, quite a funny scene.

All I know is my tighs hurt terribly after the whole night, and I kept leaning everywhere. I thought I could eat a horse after club. Was so damn hungry, ended up ate maggie and chips! There goes all my 'shakings' at the club! when the music played we dance, and so i hope the music don't stop, ever.
//
//

i tried to stop those ____,
but it's hard.
for you, i will try even harder.

the world can be so amazing
that there can be so many thousands millions trillions zillions of people yet none of them look the same as you.
Well, there can be common faces but how often can that get?

I was having my routine runs when I happened to notice everybody who is running pass me. I cant help but wonder why we cant look all the same. And so, maybe when troubles occur, we have 'our clones' to help us solve the problem.

studying hasn't been much fruitful, opposite of what I expected it to be. Since mummy not at home for one week, but she's back tonight =( There goes my studying at home with no money spend! Perhaps I should shut down and spoil my laptop soon, so I wont be online shopping and looking for unattainable dresses. SIGH

I walked passed blocks after blocks, silence of the night creeping up on me. Fear of darkness has always been my weaker link, yet I found no hand to hold on to.

reason i cant accept

having a terrible headache after all the studying.
and so i thought of sth disturbing, though it has been quite some time.

So disturbing that I cant help, but I do need a let out.

SELFISH
SELFISH
SELFISH
SELFISH
SELFISH
SELFISH
SELFISH
SELFISH
SELFISH
SELFISH
SELFISH
SELFISH
SELFISH
SELFISH
SELFISH
SELFISH

U are one selfish ass! Tmd, never did I expect YOU to be like that. Life sucks and I swallowed it.
But this is something I can never swallow. Imagine this were to be happening to you, bet u will feel as equally disgusted and MOSTLY IMPORTANTLY, DISAPPOINTED!!

dream to hope

still when the sky becomes dark,
i will still pray and hope that rainbow will appear one day again,
outside my kitchen window (:

BABY ITOUCH

finally
my bday present is here!!

ITOUCH! ((:
so so so so happy!

to think we nearly could not make it in time to make the purchase before the cashier closes.
Realised the functions and applications are quite complicated that both of us got problems analyzing the problems at 4am in the morning. But after all, at least Bing's itouch got more applications and games and I got none. TRYing to understand how itunes work noww....... oh I need a manual, not a quick start. )):

Race to the Witch Mountain is a nice movie. Nice plot featuring the good side of Ailens and not just the slimy greeny kind of monsters.

Lastly to say, hungry makes one grumpy and tired. Yet the more I sleep the more grumpy and tired I get. Meanwhile now, trying to understand this new precious (:

when the moon is round and the skies are grey

Today was a long day out. Morning work and I was late. After work, meet up with Alexis and we shopped for MY dress (((:

Walked the whole of town, nothing really caught my eyes. But at least town wasn't as crowded as city hall. I bet city hall is packed with people carrying IT shopping bags. Well, tml will be my turn. FINALLY getting a hard disk for myself.

It has been quite a while that we had a long walk. From Far East to Cathay. Somehow it reminds me of us walking from wheelock to city hall? That was the times, that I know I will never forget. Anyw, so we settled at Cathay and talked about the random-est things. Ranging from life to religion to ghosts to whatever whatever. Haha.

Things changed with every minute ticked by.
Maybe at this very moment,
someone might got into an accident and die, or 2 cats got into a fight and one of them died, or at this very moment when I typed this, in somewhere of this world, there is a breakup or maybe there's newly weds just announced husband and wife.
To feel happy or sad for these events, one cant have both emotions at the same time. It's getting abit too complicated because it's unpredictable. Oh, I'm refering to life here. So unpredictable that I might die the next moment after I'm done with this sentence. Some might live in depression state of not knowing what to do when things happened. Worst still, continue to dwell on the issue and get deeper and deeper that ended up refusing help even when offered. Whereas some would not let themselves sink further and quickly TRY to solve the issue.

I'm still far from the 3rd category, which I'm working hard to achieve that. Life sucks and everyone knows, but instead of finding the reason and the meaning to prove that it's wrong, somehow ugly events would occur and make you believe even deeper that life really sucks.

People changed with every transition they met.
But people have the obvious change is when they have transformation in life.

I'm at the cross-road of a transition, but not yet a transformation. What about you?


I thought I'm still uncertain,
about the qns I doubt in me.
Now that thought of doubt has been cleared,
I think I'm one step closer to believing in you,
Believing that you are the one I need.

world of colors, I like

Tried to use wordpress, but it seems too complicated for me.
So I shall stick to blogspot, though it's boring boring boring boring

I realised I love colors.
At least colors make me smile, when no one can.
Goes the same for rainbow (: