it's heart wrenching that this is happening
it's painful to be so helpless
it's hurting to know that this is actually happening
the feeling of helplessness just feel like SHIT
totally feel like shit
perhaps I will pray every night for the better of us.
may god bless me.
On a side note, today sentosa trip was not bad. Had my first experience on a hammock! Quite cool! Sun is a killer today! And for the second time yet the first time to run under the HOT KILLER SUN (around 12-1pm) to run in Sentosa. I thought only me and my friend are the only kuku who ran in sentosa then I realised actually quite alot of ppl ran in Sentosa, at that freaking weird hours. Running under the hot sun is damn shiok, but slopes are almost everywhere in Sentosa. OMG, i just feel that my thighs got bigger by one inch =(( But after running is goood, for that half hour plus I can just put aside all the random stuffs. Nothing but think of how to endure through all the slopes and endure through under the hot sun. Totally madness!
Crap talk laugh joke drink beer eat sleep tanned volleyball camwhore are what we did for the whole afternoon. At least this is a grp of friends I know will make my SIM life less boring. After exams might seem to be a good thing, but come to think of it now, being jobless or not having a properly well-paid job is saddening. I need to have a change of job but what part time job can I take up or perhaps a temp full time job?
3 days ago, I have stomach flu or food poisioning. It was so bad that I have to rest for 1 hour during work because I have to hold on to my stomach even while walking to compress the pain. And stupid manager on that shift is a !@#@$%^ . Dont like dont like! I still like Uncle Sam and Uncle Donald =(( Too many rules and regulations. Where is the fun loving working environment I used to enjoy? It's changing so fast that I cant catch up with the pace, that I feel restricted and bounded by their house rules. It has always been the people that I stayed on and even till now, it is still the people that I stayed on. It has never been other factors and now that all the happening people are leaving one by one, I lost the purpose to look forward to every working slot. Yet I know I have to work because I still love the place, I still love the working there. Despite the inaccessiablility, it has become a routine that I have to climb the bloody hill(esp when im late), I have to take 2 transports, I still wanna work at bnj. For the people I still wanna work with, I'm staying.
Got addicted to another habit is online reading. from website where people write their stories and post there. This holidays I will try to do as much things as possible. Maybe I will take up tuition. Primary sch this time. lol. Running is a must to do for everyday morning or night. Not to train for Sundown which is next sat, but to achieve my ideal weight ( actually by the end of this month). At least last time still have studies to preoccupy my mind and stop thinking about food. Now got... nothing. And temptation is everywhere. Fast food is one thing I will stop eating. Today shall be the last day. hahah, shit.
we are all selfish creatures
but please,
dont reveal too much of that side of you.
because it is too much to handle.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
declared freedom!
Finally I announced the END OF EXAMS
So happy because there's many things I can do:
- to recuperate ( have been lacking of sleep for the past few days ) imagine to sleep only 3-6 hours for 3-4 consequence days. Perhaps my worst day was to study overnight at 24-hours Mac. Having to be disturbed by irritating flies in the early morning. Bet the staffs at Macs think how can a one girl study overnight till 7am in the morning. Not only that, constant waking up at 4am was totally draining. Hate coffee (not to say those frappucino at Starbucks; it's diff), but it's a must to have during these periods. I swear I have never studied this hard b4 in my life.
But having said that, I think out of 4 papers I screwed 3. Totally demoralising =(( Everyday complained to Bing and only the last day then he gave the most encouraging words-.- Sigh, come to think of studies I feel like shit. Actually this exam is rather ok in general but I know I have screwed up some. I just feel dui dui dui and more dui. Till then, I'm hoping to have a pass for all the subjects. Though the passing marks are 34, it's just DAMN freaking hard to get even 20 marks. =((( May god bless serene please.
The few days of hardcore studying was actually quite interesting too. Make a few nice and fun friends. At least make my sim life not that boring, for now. Having to think that they are actually my POA classmates and didnt really talk so much until we started to study tog then so many shits come out from them. Used to see alexis and fiona almost everyday for studies, then till nearing the exams, see the few of them everyday-.- at least, they helped me with all the studies, despite all the nonsenses.
Throwing studies aside, let's talk about sth nice.
8May: Ray's graduation dinner. A quite happening and interesting dinner. When guys come tog, they are nothing but just full of shit and nonsense. The cam-whoring( not for the girls, for once!), the various stupid performance they have. Dinner was held at Marina Mandarin, and turned out that everyone dressed till quite casually. Anyw, their presentation for the 1st course is damn cute! The waiters actually danced on the stage! DAMN FUNNY! Come to think of those days that I worked in Meritus Mandarin, there was no such shit. Thank god im no longer working there. LOL. Many many interesting programmes lasted through the night, till when 1130 have passed then I realised oh it's that late! oh Morgan and Amelia got the Ms and Mr Glamourous for the night! Congrats! :D
The lucky draw part is interesting because some people get the most randomest things home. Like the brush that used to wash toilet bowl, color pencils, 2 packets of maggie mee and plastic bag. HAHA, and ray got color pencils =X but good thing is that because of this, he got the ultimate prize :DD Indeed a lucky ass! And the dressing up of the guys. So hilarous! Then the drinking competition, till one of them vomit. I pity the Marina Mandarin staffs :/ The night don't end just here. They wanted to go club. Though i was abit reluctant cause IM STILL HAVING MY EXAMS. Even Amelia went so I shall not be wet blanket. Only when I reached Rebel, then I realised I got no IC NO identification AT ALL. Started to panic, trying to borrow pple's driving license. But luckily, there was this guy in front of me got some problems with the bouncers and with the help of the guys, I got in! Haha, it's kinda weird cause all are couples. and cant imagine I paid 25bucks for just 1 hour of club. cuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..
Poor guy who vomit. but more sympathy to the marina mandarin staffs.
boys turning to become men
See that horse thingy, I asked Bing to take out and tried to eat. But apparently it was stuck to the base. It's a jelly thingy, and kinda gross.
stupid boy getting high, after the drinking session. tsktsktskkk.
Haven't been working for 2 months and finally im back to working on friday. The feeeling is quite different because so many people are leaving. Even Uncle Donald is leaving sooon =((( First is Uncle Sam, now is Uncle Donald. The 2 dearest managers I respected most and love most are leaving. Sigh..though exams are over and im expecting to work as much as possible. Apparently all the other unis have ended theirs too and I got no much work slot. So to work enough to go overseas nxt year?!?! =((
Went clubbing on fri. Crowds suck TOTALLY! just 1@#$%^&% throughout the night. Saw many familiar faces, yea the whole world goes phuture. It's time to explore other clubs. Maybe in june when I got my pay. Now the economic situation is so bad, getting a job is hard.
On the randomest things:
Firstly,what kind of person are you? Based on the personality test, then from there analyse it. From this point you manger your anger and to deal with people.
Secondly, a qns for all to think about it. Do what extent is FULL honesty is necessary in a r/s? Yes honest is good but in some point during the r/s, white lies do occur and that defeats the aims of having full honesty. Yet white lies are said so as to not make the other party angry or sad. But again, why do it in the first place when you know it's not right?
Thirdly, to what extent do you believe in horoscope? Usually those website that describe oneself, can be just a brief description yet did not go into details of how much it can describe one inner self. Or maybe the observations of others of your own horoscope can help to understand your horoscope well? But then again, this is subjective. It's not that I'm a horoscope believer ( would like to know more but won't exactly believe in it ). How is Pisces supposed to be? I know of some common traits when comparing friends of the same horoscope. and it surprised me somehow of some things I happened to know. for what I know of, pisces can be appreciative to some extent. and because of that, I started to doubt that point. Once used to be such person, perhaps in between many things happened without us knowing. But all in all, this shouldn't be happening. I'm starting to doubt the sincereness, or should I say escapist is the word for you.
Fourth, friends come and go; go and come. Whom I thought are nice, eventually have a bad point about them. When the incidents happened have to be so similar, and that really pissed me off. I valued long years of relationship more than anything, of cause those that worth to be valued. Selene, Jy, Ahmad, and Bing are someone I know we will stay together for life. People I kept doubly close to my heart. Though not as close and sticky like glue, they are still the one who understand one another best. Same goes for Monsters. Been through ups and downs, whatever that have happened had happened or still happening, it doesn't matter. We are still here for one another. Maybe in a few more years time, if monsters still be playing under Monsters, I think people might think that we are a grp of old shits acting young. HAHA because of the name. Well, the younger gen won't know about the process we might have been through. Hahaha, I think i have think rather far for now.
Fifth: is to not judge someone by his/her past. Maybe not to the extent of judge, it's too heavily used on. This is something I'm trying to not do, but it's hard. It's hard to accept someone whom I don't know his past and background. I believe strongly in trust and because of that, trust is much easier to build when background is known and therefore foundation is much easier to build. Trust is hard to build, not just some words 'i love you' 'you love me' will be enough to make the relationship last. How long do you think u can 'wait' for this person who might or might not be your one. It's silly to wait for someone who is attached especially. And it's more sillier to say that he/she will sees the effort that u have been putting in for him/her so he/she will goes to you. Craps, and there's true stories whereby this guy wait for this girl, till she got married. and hence waste his youth time where he could have gone to search for better girls.
and to Alexis and Fiona: ENDURE ABIT MORE FOR UR LAST PAPER! Then after that we can go havoc in any shape size direction way! hahaha, jia you!
So happy because there's many things I can do:
- to recuperate ( have been lacking of sleep for the past few days ) imagine to sleep only 3-6 hours for 3-4 consequence days. Perhaps my worst day was to study overnight at 24-hours Mac. Having to be disturbed by irritating flies in the early morning. Bet the staffs at Macs think how can a one girl study overnight till 7am in the morning. Not only that, constant waking up at 4am was totally draining. Hate coffee (not to say those frappucino at Starbucks; it's diff), but it's a must to have during these periods. I swear I have never studied this hard b4 in my life.
But having said that, I think out of 4 papers I screwed 3. Totally demoralising =(( Everyday complained to Bing and only the last day then he gave the most encouraging words-.- Sigh, come to think of studies I feel like shit. Actually this exam is rather ok in general but I know I have screwed up some. I just feel dui dui dui and more dui. Till then, I'm hoping to have a pass for all the subjects. Though the passing marks are 34, it's just DAMN freaking hard to get even 20 marks. =((( May god bless serene please.
The few days of hardcore studying was actually quite interesting too. Make a few nice and fun friends. At least make my sim life not that boring, for now. Having to think that they are actually my POA classmates and didnt really talk so much until we started to study tog then so many shits come out from them. Used to see alexis and fiona almost everyday for studies, then till nearing the exams, see the few of them everyday-.- at least, they helped me with all the studies, despite all the nonsenses.
Throwing studies aside, let's talk about sth nice.
8May: Ray's graduation dinner. A quite happening and interesting dinner. When guys come tog, they are nothing but just full of shit and nonsense. The cam-whoring( not for the girls, for once!), the various stupid performance they have. Dinner was held at Marina Mandarin, and turned out that everyone dressed till quite casually. Anyw, their presentation for the 1st course is damn cute! The waiters actually danced on the stage! DAMN FUNNY! Come to think of those days that I worked in Meritus Mandarin, there was no such shit. Thank god im no longer working there. LOL. Many many interesting programmes lasted through the night, till when 1130 have passed then I realised oh it's that late! oh Morgan and Amelia got the Ms and Mr Glamourous for the night! Congrats! :D
The lucky draw part is interesting because some people get the most randomest things home. Like the brush that used to wash toilet bowl, color pencils, 2 packets of maggie mee and plastic bag. HAHA, and ray got color pencils =X but good thing is that because of this, he got the ultimate prize :DD Indeed a lucky ass! And the dressing up of the guys. So hilarous! Then the drinking competition, till one of them vomit. I pity the Marina Mandarin staffs :/ The night don't end just here. They wanted to go club. Though i was abit reluctant cause IM STILL HAVING MY EXAMS. Even Amelia went so I shall not be wet blanket. Only when I reached Rebel, then I realised I got no IC NO identification AT ALL. Started to panic, trying to borrow pple's driving license. But luckily, there was this guy in front of me got some problems with the bouncers and with the help of the guys, I got in! Haha, it's kinda weird cause all are couples. and cant imagine I paid 25bucks for just 1 hour of club. cuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..
Poor guy who vomit. but more sympathy to the marina mandarin staffs.
boys turning to become men
See that horse thingy, I asked Bing to take out and tried to eat. But apparently it was stuck to the base. It's a jelly thingy, and kinda gross.
stupid boy getting high, after the drinking session. tsktsktskkk.
Haven't been working for 2 months and finally im back to working on friday. The feeeling is quite different because so many people are leaving. Even Uncle Donald is leaving sooon =((( First is Uncle Sam, now is Uncle Donald. The 2 dearest managers I respected most and love most are leaving. Sigh..though exams are over and im expecting to work as much as possible. Apparently all the other unis have ended theirs too and I got no much work slot. So to work enough to go overseas nxt year?!?! =((
Went clubbing on fri. Crowds suck TOTALLY! just 1@#$%^&% throughout the night. Saw many familiar faces, yea the whole world goes phuture. It's time to explore other clubs. Maybe in june when I got my pay. Now the economic situation is so bad, getting a job is hard.
On the randomest things:
Firstly,what kind of person are you? Based on the personality test, then from there analyse it. From this point you manger your anger and to deal with people.
Secondly, a qns for all to think about it. Do what extent is FULL honesty is necessary in a r/s? Yes honest is good but in some point during the r/s, white lies do occur and that defeats the aims of having full honesty. Yet white lies are said so as to not make the other party angry or sad. But again, why do it in the first place when you know it's not right?
Thirdly, to what extent do you believe in horoscope? Usually those website that describe oneself, can be just a brief description yet did not go into details of how much it can describe one inner self. Or maybe the observations of others of your own horoscope can help to understand your horoscope well? But then again, this is subjective. It's not that I'm a horoscope believer ( would like to know more but won't exactly believe in it ). How is Pisces supposed to be? I know of some common traits when comparing friends of the same horoscope. and it surprised me somehow of some things I happened to know. for what I know of, pisces can be appreciative to some extent. and because of that, I started to doubt that point. Once used to be such person, perhaps in between many things happened without us knowing. But all in all, this shouldn't be happening. I'm starting to doubt the sincereness, or should I say escapist is the word for you.
Fourth, friends come and go; go and come. Whom I thought are nice, eventually have a bad point about them. When the incidents happened have to be so similar, and that really pissed me off. I valued long years of relationship more than anything, of cause those that worth to be valued. Selene, Jy, Ahmad, and Bing are someone I know we will stay together for life. People I kept doubly close to my heart. Though not as close and sticky like glue, they are still the one who understand one another best. Same goes for Monsters. Been through ups and downs, whatever that have happened had happened or still happening, it doesn't matter. We are still here for one another. Maybe in a few more years time, if monsters still be playing under Monsters, I think people might think that we are a grp of old shits acting young. HAHA because of the name. Well, the younger gen won't know about the process we might have been through. Hahaha, I think i have think rather far for now.
Fifth: is to not judge someone by his/her past. Maybe not to the extent of judge, it's too heavily used on. This is something I'm trying to not do, but it's hard. It's hard to accept someone whom I don't know his past and background. I believe strongly in trust and because of that, trust is much easier to build when background is known and therefore foundation is much easier to build. Trust is hard to build, not just some words 'i love you' 'you love me' will be enough to make the relationship last. How long do you think u can 'wait' for this person who might or might not be your one. It's silly to wait for someone who is attached especially. And it's more sillier to say that he/she will sees the effort that u have been putting in for him/her so he/she will goes to you. Craps, and there's true stories whereby this guy wait for this girl, till she got married. and hence waste his youth time where he could have gone to search for better girls.
and to Alexis and Fiona: ENDURE ABIT MORE FOR UR LAST PAPER! Then after that we can go havoc in any shape size direction way! hahaha, jia you!
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