sentosa(:

it's heart wrenching that this is happening
it's painful to be so helpless
it's hurting to know that this is actually happening
the feeling of helplessness just feel like SHIT
totally feel like shit
perhaps I will pray every night for the better of us.
may god bless me.

On a side note, today sentosa trip was not bad. Had my first experience on a hammock! Quite cool! Sun is a killer today! And for the second time yet the first time to run under the HOT KILLER SUN (around 12-1pm) to run in Sentosa. I thought only me and my friend are the only kuku who ran in sentosa then I realised actually quite alot of ppl ran in Sentosa, at that freaking weird hours. Running under the hot sun is damn shiok, but slopes are almost everywhere in Sentosa. OMG, i just feel that my thighs got bigger by one inch =(( But after running is goood, for that half hour plus I can just put aside all the random stuffs. Nothing but think of how to endure through all the slopes and endure through under the hot sun. Totally madness!
Crap talk laugh joke drink beer eat sleep tanned volleyball camwhore are what we did for the whole afternoon. At least this is a grp of friends I know will make my SIM life less boring. After exams might seem to be a good thing, but come to think of it now, being jobless or not having a properly well-paid job is saddening. I need to have a change of job but what part time job can I take up or perhaps a temp full time job?

3 days ago, I have stomach flu or food poisioning. It was so bad that I have to rest for 1 hour during work because I have to hold on to my stomach even while walking to compress the pain. And stupid manager on that shift is a !@#@$%^ . Dont like dont like! I still like Uncle Sam and Uncle Donald =(( Too many rules and regulations. Where is the fun loving working environment I used to enjoy? It's changing so fast that I cant catch up with the pace, that I feel restricted and bounded by their house rules. It has always been the people that I stayed on and even till now, it is still the people that I stayed on. It has never been other factors and now that all the happening people are leaving one by one, I lost the purpose to look forward to every working slot. Yet I know I have to work because I still love the place, I still love the working there. Despite the inaccessiablility, it has become a routine that I have to climb the bloody hill(esp when im late), I have to take 2 transports, I still wanna work at bnj. For the people I still wanna work with, I'm staying.

Got addicted to another habit is online reading. from website where people write their stories and post there. This holidays I will try to do as much things as possible. Maybe I will take up tuition. Primary sch this time. lol. Running is a must to do for everyday morning or night. Not to train for Sundown which is next sat, but to achieve my ideal weight ( actually by the end of this month). At least last time still have studies to preoccupy my mind and stop thinking about food. Now got... nothing. And temptation is everywhere. Fast food is one thing I will stop eating. Today shall be the last day. hahah, shit.

we are all selfish creatures
but please,
dont reveal too much of that side of you.
because it is too much to handle.